A Common Experience With Erectile Dysfunction
Ahh, erectile dysfunction, how I loathe thee. The willy won’t work with the woman wants it left me saddened and alone in the world. This Australian problem is not ours alone, men all over the world suffer from the occasional limp Longmire. Don’t fret, they have doctors and pills just for such a depressing condition if you can only bring yourself to make an appointment with the local penis doctor. But before you do, make sure you have a lot of money saved up for those tiny purple pills, or you will wind up with blue balls for certain after a little rise in the curtain doesn’t finish the job on the first go around.
A common ailment
Helmet or no helmet on the little fella doesn’t seem to matter, though age appears to play a part. It only makes sense, as you get older your blood pressure drops, leaving nothing left to fill old woody with, well, wood! As a lad, your veins were bursting at the seams, but not trickle of fluids left just won’t do the trick. It’s a common ailment, no doubt. Tell the missus not to worry, we can figure this out. If you are too embarrassed to see a doctor just yet, perhaps a cock ring or other restrictive toy from the local shop could help! Head on down (no pun intended) to the local lingerie and adult toy store to see what you can find, you make be surprised that a visit alone can cure your ails! The lady at the local shop likely knows the ins and outs of all of the merchandise and can assist in finding you something just right. A ball band, some nipple cream, perhaps a tingly stimulant for the wonder worm himself! Peppermint soap? A little something for the back door if you know what I mean? Something physical may do the trick, but if not, do not despair as there are many alternatives here.
A mental game
Next would be the mind. Maybe the lady at home isn’t quite what she used to be. Have you tried turning out the lights? Sheets over her head? Maybe flip her around so all you see is her backside instead? Are girls what you are into, are you sure? Nothing wrong with testing out other waters! So, if it’s not physical and it’s not mental, I suppose it must be biological. To the doctor, we go! A penis specialist to be exact, to see what can be done about flaccid little jack.
Seek out a physician
Doctors can prescribe Viagra pills, therapy, even stents and prosthetic and such. They will ask a lot of questions and test out your heart, tell you about the side effects from a list longer than your arm. They will make it all sound horrible, but hopeful, and you may be willing to fork over half a grand for a chance at porking the old miss once again. Be careful, be sure she is ready, you don’t want to pop one of those pills and then find yourself with a raging boner and nowhere to put it! Many a man has been found with his willy hidden in something it should not be due to this very predicament! You don’t want the thing that your shagging going ‘baaa’ or ‘oink’. Oh no! So have a plan before you give it a go.
Heart conditions
As mentioned before, be sure that the heart is in tip-top shape before enraging the bull. Too much pressure can blow a valve, and explaining to the paramedics why the dead man on the ladies’ floor is a deplorable thing to leave her to do. Be sure you are ready for the rodeo before strapping on the spurs and make sure she is too! Lots of lube my friend and a cocktail or two, but not too much, of that, could be a reason for the limp season as well. After all of this work, you don’t want to lose out without the fireworks blasting off!
Call a doctor if an erection lasts more than 4 hours
And last but not least if you are an erection for more than 4 hours, call all your friends to brag before consulting your doctor. They may not believe you and insist on seeing the king James himself in all his glory as proof.
Medical Practitioner (General Practice) with postgraduate diplomas in Cape Town. My special interest is erectile dysfunction.